Comes the news just yesterday, from your United States Department of Agriculture, that the Food Pyramid is out. The Plate is in.
Bold prediction: This development will not rock the golf world .
The plate symbol, they say, makes it easier to visualize portion sizes relative to the kinds of food you put on it. Vegetables and fruits are still supposed to be good for you, and they should take up the biggest part of your mealtime platter. Same old message, new visuals.
Meat is relegated to being more of a "flavorful condiment" than "this belly-bludgeoning, plate-burying hunk of protein," according to Steven Raichlen, host of PBS' "Primal Grill," quoted Thursday in NPR Online.
For a golfer, a "condiment" doubles as the vegetable course, by which I mean, pretty much, pickle relish.
It's reasonably rare to hear a golfer making the turn say, "Yeah, I'm gonna go grab a salad and an Evian."'
The "plate," for a golfer on the course, is more likely to be a cardboard tray buckling under the weight of a jumbo weinie and oversized (white flour) bun.
I don't like to wear mustard with my carefully accessorized ensemble. So I opt for a nut mix for my on-course snacking, which, we're learning, is not so bad nutritionalistically speaking: the right fats, good protein-carb balance.
There I was, just last week, feeling virtuous as I headed for No. 10, chewin' on some nuts and sipping water.
I caught a whiff of my buddy's hot dog. And damn, it looked good.
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