Leave these on the teebox with no regrets

The girl in my life, wise beyond her dozen years, has been known to say, reproachfully, "You should not be smoking, Grumpy." (She calls me Grumpy, which is a story for another day).

I don't argue with her ... I just say, "I only smoke cigars." And: "I only smoke when I play golf."

To which she says, "Cigars are just as bad, maybe worse." And: "Yeah, right, Grumpy."

So: she's onto me. There are some of you for whom this story is not unfamiliar.

I usually escape the girl's disapproval with a couple cigars tucked in my golf bag. I don't always smoke 'em when I play, but there are days when it seems like the right thing to do.

I am in the camp that believes a golf course cigar should never be a distraction: not too big,  not too strong, and above all not expensive. Because you will, some day -- you will -- leave your smoke on the tee box marker while you stripe your drive and forget all about it 'til you're walking onto the green.

With that in mind, the Blogolfosphere offers up these recommendations for golf smokes: mild to medium in body, not too equipment-intensive, and cheap, more or less. You can spend less (the Swisher Sweet/Backwoods Smokes route), but I can't see spending too much more.

Your criteria, and your faves, might be very different. I can handle your reproach, better than I can the girl's.

1. Principes by La Aurora: The presentation -- the silver foil wrapping --suggests a more premium smoke. Peel it away, and you'll find it's pre-cut, so you don't have to fumble for your cutter. It lights easily, draws smoothly, with a good nutty flavor, and it's mild, so you don't have to fight off nicotine intoxication. I like the 5-inch x 38-ring size -- feels comfortable in the hand. You'll know it's a short-filler cigar when it gets a little soft toward the end ... but then, you brought two. Available online from Cigars International (www.cigarsinternational.com) in quantities of 50 or 75 at about 70 cents a stick.

2. Mr. B: These handmade Nicaraguans range in size from 7.25 x 45 down to 6 x 43. They come in candela (green), maduro and natural wrappers, and they won't kick you in the head either. Perfect for handing out to your buddies: they'll never know you spent barely a buck per ... Available online from JR Cigars (www.jrcigars.com).

3. Villiger Export: Machine-made in Switzerland and dry-cured, with Cuban seed tobaccos and a Sumatran wrapper. Villigers come in many sizes, but the box-pressed 4 x 37 Export is handiest for the golf course. Mild in body, and the dry curing lends a distinctive flavor; Villiger represents the top of the line in machine-made cigars. Available from CI in boxes of 50 at about 85 cents a stick.

4. Stogies by Marsh Wheeling: Impress your friends by offering them a gen-u-wine stogie from the brand that pretty much invented the style -- long and thin -- and coined the name, after the preferred smoke of Conestoga wagon drivers. The M.M. Marsh Co. started making stogies in 1840, and operated in Wheeling, W.V., until 2001, when National Cigar bought out the brand and moved the plant to Frankfort, Ind. They're not necessarily simple to find, which might disqualify them as your go-to golf smoke, but the 7 x 34 Deluxe Stogies can be had from Top Hat Tobacco (www.tophatcigar.com) for a little more than a buck apiece.

This is one smoker's opinion ... let me hear yours. I already know the girl's.