Of argyles and micro-stripes: Presidents Cup too close to call

Let’s talk fashion. Really, except for the odd bunker blast this year and the endlessly fascinating Royal Melbourne torture track, it’s more interesting than the golf.

The Presidents Cup is a bi-yearly late-season curio on the world golf calendar, and it ain’t the Ryder Cup. It could be said the Americans, in both events, are the targeted ones and don’t quite comprehend where all the passion comes from.

In recent years, the Yanks have responded with emotion nearly the equal of the Europeans in the Ryder Cup, partly, maybe, out of annoyance at getting their asses kicked with regularity.

And worse, last year, they lost the fashion competition. It was close, but the bold and edgy Euros got the nod.

Mickelson: The Day Two look

This year, in Melbourne, the Americans are winning, but it’s a tepid performance on both sides.

On Day One, I liked the Americans’ dark navy polos with red at the plackets – very sharp. But the white pants – and yes, I get the patriotic theme – were ghastly, and didn’t hang right on anybody. When you have no ass (Mickelson) and short legs (Toms), you don’t wear white pants. You just don’t.

The Internationals went with sky blue polos, striped across the chest, and gray-blue pants on the first day, the sole virtue of which it was easy to tell them from their opponents. Advantage (slight): USA.

Day Two: I would have preferred a solid deep-red polo to the horizontal white-on-red stripes the Americans trotted out, but at least they got the pants right: navy, which does a better job of draping the least athletic physiques among the team members.

On Day Two, the Internationals got better on the golf course but did not seize the sartorial moment … they went pastel again, this time adding a yellow sash effect to the light-blue-over-white shirts, with gray trousers. Advantage: USA.

Today, when you might have expected the Internationals to step forward with power and primary colors, they did, least in their outerwear: argyle sweaters and vests in green, charcoal and white, the boldest statement of the week by either side. Black slacks were the ideal complement.

The Americans, with all the momentum on their side, came out in curiously uninspiring micro-striped white-on-blue polos that looked better under the white-with-navy-piping  v-neck sweaters than on their own. Advantage: Internationals.

This competition is too close to call. A strong final-day performance could propel the Internationals to the title, as happened with the Europeans last year at the Ryder Cup. The Euros’ dashing white-on-black argyle-check sweaters earned a razor-thin edge over the Americans, who were nearly as debonair with their retro cardigans in lavender.

You might not have known the Blogolfosphere is the official fashion arbiter of the Presidents Cup.

Further, you might ask, why aren’t you writing about the golf?

Well, hell, I’m not qualified to write about golf.